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Pulse the cauliflower florets in a food processor in two batches until broken down into rice-sized pieces, about 8–10 pulses per batch. Alternatively, grate the florets on the large holes of a box grater. Spread the cauliflower rice on a clean kitchen towel and press firmly to remove excess moisture — this step is key to getting a lightly toasted texture rather than a steamed one.
Lay the bacon strips in a cold 12-inch skillet and set over medium heat. Cook, turning once, until the fat is rendered and the bacon is crisp, 6–8 minutes. Transfer to a paper-towel-lined plate and pour off all but about 1 tsp of the rendered fat from the skillet, leaving the skillet on the heat.
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