
Crunchy, herby, and dangerously snackable, these baked plantain chips deliver everything you love about ranch-flavored snacks without a single drop of dairy or anything animal-derived. Traditional ranch seasoning leans heavily on buttermilk and sour cream, but this version gets that same savory, tangy punch from a smart blend of dried parsley, chives, dill, garlic, onion, and a splash of apple cider vinegar — and it genuinely works. Green plantains are the secret weapon here: sliced paper-thin and baked with coconut oil, they turn shatteringly crisp in a way that rivals anything you'd pull from a bag at the store. The trick of tossing the chips in seasoning the moment they come out of the oven means every bite is coated, not dusty. No fryer, no mystery ingredients, no cross-contamination worries from shared dairy equipment — just a clean, whole-food ingredient list you can feel good about. Let them cool completely on the pan and they'll crisp up even further, making it almost impossible to stop at just one handful.
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Preheat the oven to 375°F (190°C). Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper.
Using a mandoline set to 1/16-inch thickness, or a sharp knife, slice the peeled plantains into rounds as thin and uniform as possible — aim for translucent-thin slices so they crisp evenly.
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