
This briny, herb-forward spread is the kind of thing you'll want to keep in the fridge at all times — ready to slather on crusty bread, spoon over roasted vegetables, or serve alongside crackers at a moment's notice. Two varieties of olives bring a buttery, complex depth that no store-bought version can quite match, and the fresh parsley, thyme, rosemary, and lemon zest lift the whole thing into something genuinely bright and aromatic. For anyone navigating alpha-gal syndrome, this recipe is a natural fit — every single ingredient is plant-based and free from mammalian products, so there's no need to scrutinize labels or worry about hidden animal-derived additives. The food processor does most of the work in just a few quick pulses, leaving you with a rustic, textured spread rather than a smooth paste, which is exactly how a good tapenade should feel. A splash of apple cider vinegar adds just enough acidity to balance the richness of the olive oil and keep the flavors lively. Tear in some fresh basil at the end if you have it — it's optional, but it makes the whole bowl smell incredible. This is one of those effortless recipes that tastes like you put in far more effort than you actually did.
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Combine the Castelvetrano olives, Kalamata olives, garlic, parsley, thyme, rosemary, and lemon zest in the bowl of a food processor. Pulse 8–10 times, until the mixture is coarsely chopped and no whole olives remain.
Add the olive oil and apple cider vinegar, then pulse 4–6 more times until the tapenade reaches a rough, spreadable consistency — it should still have visible texture, not be a smooth paste.
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