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Make the ranch: whisk together the mayonnaise, buttermilk, sour cream, lemon juice, grated garlic, chives, dill, onion powder, and dried parsley in a bowl until smooth. Season with salt and pepper, then refrigerate until ready to serve.
Cook the bacon in a large skillet over medium heat, turning occasionally, until the strips are deeply browned and crisp, about 8–10 minutes. Transfer to a paper-towel-lined plate and let cool, then crumble into pieces.
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